- No First Drafts
- Posts
- Three months later
Now playing: “Perfect Day” by Lou Reed
I've caught myself tapping the little bell over and over. Hitting that little heart in the corner. Quietly hoping for pixelated validation.
Kate’s war on The Closer
I recently saw the comedian Kate Berlant perform, and she popped the crowd when talking about those moments where she’s completely in the zone on her phone. That moment where you feel in control of the screen, and basically like a maestro. After a pause, she admitted she hated that feeling, and the crowd erupted. We get it, we’re too attached and transfixed. As Wayne and Garth said to Alice Cooper, “We’re dumb, we suck!” This stuck with me over the last weeks, as I thought about how I should aim for much more than “good at my phone.”
Fortunately, as I heard Berlant say this, I was able to feel a bit of that smug sensation that’s best described as “oh, I’ve been bad, but I’m working on it.” Weeks prior, I managed to commit to the bit and delete Instagram and Bluesky off of my phone minutes, just before the calendar turned over to April. The original goal was to see if I could go through a whole month without social media on screen I carry everywhere.
Why? Well, part of me remembers a conversation with a friend from college who I reconnected with recently. He thought I couldn’t handle being deleting social media from my phone. In his defense, I was posting a lot. I didn't need screen time-tracking to know I was flipping my phone out and smacking that purplish-pink app icon to check how many likes I'd gotten all the time. I was a bit too glued to the stream of updates. All at the cost of being there with my friends around me. I was missing jokes and moments, as well as lines and events happening on my TV.
What followed was about as close to what I'd had hoped for. Enough so that I made it past two months in a row. I've been able to keep up the resurgent reading habit I'd desired, and actually get ahead of my book-a-month quota. I think I've been more in-the-moment with friends, but I've also been caught checking for replies. We're all works in progress, as the old saw goes.
But speaking of that reading habit, let’s talk about Sarah Wynn-Williams' "Careless People: A Cautionary Tale of Power, Greed, and Lost Idealism," a memoir where we see its author force her way into Facebook, creating a public policy position for the company that would greatly need it. Wynn-Williams shows Mark Zuckerberg and Sheryl Sandberg in particularly frank lighting, and reading that book makes me question how much I want their digital tendrils in my life. Reading this book, you won’t be surprised that Facebook/Meta wants to silence its author. And it helped keep the apps off my phone.
What I thought I learned during this time is that I get could get enough exposure to — and information and interactions from — social media when I was at home. Thanks to testing tech for a living, I’ve got enough devices where I can isolate the apps if I want, even keep a phone around just for social media. I enjoy keeping up with friends that I don’t text daily, and that’s best done through Instagram and elsewhere. As much as I wanted to go cold turkey at varying points, we live in a world where people and local businesses rely on social media. I've tried to push conversations out of Instagram DMs and into texting, and it doesn't always work.
I don't want to be a hermit, ask anyone and they'll tell you I am a social creature. I yearn to know what's going on. I love a bit of gossip. I'm just trying to recalibrate how I interact with the world.
One way I’m trying to rebuild the information pipeline
While I was figuring out how to be online with less social media, I remembered how email (it’s almost like I have a newsletter) is still great.
My current list of paid newsletters:
Am I getting the most out of all of them?
Not to my liking, especially when I'm also fond of:
Am I happy many of these are on Substack? No.
Combined, these and a few larger websites could give me much of what I look to social media for, save for those life updates that I truly like to see from folks that I don't chat with often. One friend would say "are they really your friends if you don't talk often?” I don't exactly know how to answer that other than to say just because I don't keep in touch often doesn't mean I don't care.
Just take this edition of No First Drafts, the newsletter that's quasi-quarterly. I've drafted this primarily in the Drafts app because I'm getting increasingly wary of using Google's free suite of products as it continues to inject its Gemini generative AI into everything. I don't want automatic email summaries (h/t Flo) so I want to delete the Gmail app from my phone (yes, I've disabled Apple Intelligence). And I don't want to use Google Docs if I can find a suitable alternative, because I don't want to be drafting in the beast. I know it all gets sucked in regardless, but I just want to draw the line, OK?
So, yes, I don't particularly like how I act when I am scratching the social media itch in public, and I'm trying to rethink tools I use. This, in a way, feels like a return to tradition. Remember when we only used computers in a dedicated room? Maybe that was right. But maybe I can’t go back.
Trying to make rules
A view of Mexico City’s Roma Norte from above
While in Mexico City (more on that next time) in June, I thought I was safe checking Instagram (on a tablet, okay!) at 11pm. That was a mistake, as that’s when I saw some news that got my anxiety shooting sky-high. Once I got over that … I realized that my no social media on my phone rule wasn’t complete on its own. So, second rule was born.
No social media after 10 p.m..
Back in town, though, I found New York City on the eve of what would be a pretty-historic primary election for our mayor. And that was when I felt the need to post. Not to share my views about any politician (maybe I’ll explain why some day), but to simply encourage people to vote.
That’s how I got rule 3.
In momentous events, when I can set a short window of a couple of days, it’s OK to put Instagram back on my phone. Maybe I do a trial run and see if I’m better with my frequent usage.
But If I’m honest, this was just where the backsliding and honest thinking began. During my most-recent therapy session, I talked about industry turbulence in online media. How one of my trusted industry peers believes people need to be doing more to prepare for the days when they are forced to be more self-reliant.
This is when I started to think about the dependencies and necessities of the moment. I’m sure that politicians wish they didn’t need to use social media, but they do anyways. Some folks love them some Instagram, and I enjoy it on occasion, too. I was possibly enjoying it too much, posting like I was directing a firehose of my brain and life at the screen. This led me to rule 4.
Re-read your posts, see what you like.
The idea there is to take what I’m doing with this newsletter, being more thoughtful about what I do and be more selective with what I post. Be more proud of what I share.
I was fortunately able to enjoy this W, including a wild comeback in the third quarter.
Later that night, though, I saw that social media isn’t the biggest problem with my phone. At a NY Liberty game, sitting next to one of my closest and newest friends, I saw my itchy phone fingers in action. I really wanted to know an answer that would ostensibly help me schedule something in the following weekend. But both the Barclays Center Wi-Fi and AT&T's 5G network were failing me. But undeterred, I kept stubbornly hitting refresh or rewriting my query. Toggling Wi-Fi and Airplane mode off and on like there was some secret combination of actions that would work. I wanted to be in the moment at the game, just had to solve this first. And my friend quietly noticed. And that was the moment I admitted that I needed to rethink how my war on social media apps wasn’t the way to solve my phone habits.
I thought about it a lot on the train ride home, and I reinstalled and deleted Instagram before reaching my station.
Dependence Day
On July 4, I declared my dependence on having Instagram on my phone. I was trying to post video of me playing basketball to Instagram, but doing it with the second phone introduced too much friction. It's just easier this way. After I realized that my delete and install and repeat method felt silly, I put Instagram back behind the hidden apps wall, and it feels cleaner. Also, having spent three months without Instagram on my phone, I do honestly forget I can open it. I’m also not
My rapid screen tapping happened again, though, as I was on my way to the movies that night. I wanted to give my friend a heads-up as to how much longer I’d be, but CityMapper refused to acknowledge I'd crossed into Brooklyn, still pinpointing me as back by the Delancey/Essex stop. But I kept trying. And I remembered how a tapping cycle trying to make the Alamo app work on the previous Fourth of July broke my phone and sent me to the Grand Central Genius Bar.
I was already on the train, though. There was nothing to be done. Just like at the basketball game.
Yes, I don't need Instagram to be like this with my phone. Just like how I'll catch myself waiting for a reply text on my watch while attending a movie. And that was when I gave myself a new challenge: make it through the movie without checking my phone or watch. I only failed once, when I felt my phone vibrate through my tote bag against my sneaker. I quickly checked the time on my watch, figured out this was just one of my regular reminders, and went back to watching M3GAN fight for her own independence.
Making it through the movie, and seeing nothing had really gone wrong, I realized the practice of not checking socials may have given me the power to be better about my other bad habits if only I tried.
A bit of housekeeping before we move on: All photos by Henry T. Casey, except for the black and white photo of Henry used for the thumbnail of this email, which was shot by Doug Peterson.
Also, the next edition of No First Drafts won’t be nearly as long. And I’ll probably be sending it out after a much shorter gap.
Covie’s Revenge
The final Paxlovid dose
Last time I posted here, I talked about the five-year anniversary of the start of the COVID-19 pandemic. So, of course, I tested positive less than two weeks later. This newsletter isn't about getting The Vid. All I need to say about that is that it sucked and these were the things that made it suck less:
Paxlovid
Red Hots candies, for Paxlovid mouth (thank you Sophy).
Slippery Elm tea (aka Throat Coat), for the sore throat.
Tylenol Rapid Release obliterated my fever.
Liquid IV, because it's easier to stock those than tons of bottles of electrolyte-packed beverages.
The Culture Diary
This section covers everything of interest from March 2 through July 5.
Books
"Rejection" by Tony Tulathimutte
— An absolute banger. Impressively on-the-nose until it goes spectacularly off-the-rails.
"My Year of Rest and Relaxation" by Ottessa Moshfegh
— Great if you can endure a story about relentless pill-addled depression.
"Careless People: A Cautionary Tale of Power, Greed, and Lost Idealism" by Sarah Wynn-Williams
— Should be assigned in high schools.
"Annihilation" by Jeff VanderMeer
— The most difficult read at times, but rewarding by the end.
"Extremely Hardcore: Inside Elon Musk's Twitter" by Zoë Schiffer
— A decoder ring for 2025.
"The Complete Maus" by Art Spiegelman
— Yes, I hadn't read Maus until 2025. Felt quite necessary.
"Blood, Sweat & Chrome: The Wild and True Story of Mad Max: Fury Road" by Kyle Buchanan
— A delight for fans of the film.
TV
The Rehearsal season 2: Proof that TV can still surprise. Amazing
The Last of Us season 2: Amazing highs, but too inconsistent in its intrigue, and that finale has me seeing it's got the same flaws as the game.
Andor season 2: I need to give this whole series another shot, because it did not click with me.
Pee-wee As Himself: Wow. Watch it.
I'm finally getting into AMC's "Interview With The Vampire," and enjoying it.
Starting to rewatch Joss Whedon's "Buffy: The Vampire Slayer."
Twin Peaks: The Return, parts 7 and 8 were amazing to see at The Metrograph, especially part 8.
And now, the movies:
I want my time back for
Apple TV+'s "The Gorge" movie, which felt like an exercise testing how much of a movie can be shot on a green screen. Stars Miles Teller and Anya Taylor-Joy do their best, but this is anodyne.
Jeff Fowler's "Sonic the Hedgehog 3" is in the running for the goofiest thing I saw this year, and it's far hornier than I felt comfortable with. A fun group hang-and-mock watch, little else.
You either die a Wes Anderson fan, or live long enough for the TweeLord to break your will to keep trying to give a damn. Anderson's latest, "The Phoenician Scheme," threw me into the latter camp.
"Brett Goldstein: The Second Best Night of Your Life" … just not good.
"Popstar: Never Stop Never Stopping" … lost on me. Maybe this is my bad.
I left Danny Philippou and Michael Philippou’s “Bring Her Back” early. It just bored me.
I'm split
Miranda July’s incredibly-2011 “The Future” feels like an early and less-mass market version of her novel “All Fours.” Also a warning for couples to never have the same hair style.
Christopher Landon's "Drop" is the most proudly dumb movie since David Zucker's "BASEketball," but it's not going for the same audience. Instead, widowed mother Violet (Meghan Fahy) is trying to figure out the scheme that's ruining her first date in years, and if her date Henry (Brandon Sklenar) is in on the hell she's being put through. Why do I think "Drop" is so dumb? Because of the visual methods of storytelling used are so empty and direct that you'll marvel that someone approved them. That said? Far more watchable than "Sonic 3" or "The Gorge."
Andrew DeYoung's "Friendship" is borderline I Liked/I'm Split, because while I enjoyed it at first, I eventually felt like I was watching a different movie than my buddies I saw it with. I wonder how this movie would have worked with a director with more experience, as DeYoung's previous experience was solely in TV. Maybe that's the point, as this felt like a very-extended "I Think You Should Leave" segment, where the Tim Robinson character finally faces consequences for his misbehavior. To say it felt under-cooked is a very slight way of putting the notion that I wanted more, especially from Kate Mara (who played the scold wife) and Paul Rudd (who was playing the hits from his career).
I liked
Andrew Ahn's "The Wedding Banquet" is a fine farcical romcom that under-utilizes Lily Gladstone, which should be a punishable crime. That said, it does give Kelly Marie Tran a fair amount to work with, and I love to see Bowen Yang get a starring role like this (even if the film’s more dramatic scenes reveals the limits of his facial expressions).
Christopher McQuarrie's "Mission: Impossible -- The Final Reckoning" is funnier than I expected it to be, but not in the same ways that Tom Cruise movies are often unintentionally-hilarious. Instead, this one ties so much lore together from the impossible missions that I couldn't help but be a little giddy. The big budget action movie set pieces, though, were not to the caliber I expected. I enjoyed the plane-jumping scene, but thought it was a little short, while the underwater scene felt the exact opposite — bloated. Overall, though, I'm happy with how this one turned out.
David Cronenberg's "The Shrouds" is the kind of movie that you'll either love because you're a little broken (in a good way) or be bewildered by because you don't have the bandwidth to stare into its traumatic abyss. You all know I'm in the former group. So much that I've seen it twice.
Steven Soderbergh's "Black Bag" is a neat and stylish spy flick.
Gerard Johnstone’s “M3GAN 2.0” doesn’t hit the high notes of the original, partially due to having less of its titular murder-doll. Its riffs on Elon and Sam Altman in Jermaine Clement’s character are pitch-perfect, though.
Marvel Studios' "Thunderbolts*" is a reminder that the house that Feige built is primarily competent at team-building stories centered on grief and trauma. I had a fun time seeing this one with friends, and I wonder how much it would suffer without my loved ones around me.
René Cardona’s “The Bat Woman” aka “La mujer murciélago” is a campy treat. The end-note joke is such a thing of its era.
I really enjoyed
The Roadshow Version of Francis Ford Coppola’s “Apocalypse Now” is the most enjoyable cut I’ve ever seen of the film. It’s as the film was originally shown, and edited to an inch of its life. Under three hours!
Danny Boyle’s “28 Years Later,” even though Aaron Taylor-Johnson feels like a failed experiment at this point. The rest of the film rises so high above.
Josalynn Smith’s feature directorial debut “Ride or Die” was the first Tribeca Film Festival movie I’ve seen in years, and I hope it gets a real release. A road trip from hell movie that touches notes from "Thelma & Louise," "Love Lies Bleeding," and "Bones and All.”
Emilie Blichfeldt's "The Ugly Stepsister" is the fucked up facially-fractured fairy tale you probably didn't know you needed. And if you have been knowingly waiting for this movie to happen before it was even conceived? I am curious what's in your drafts folder. I can't really — and don't want to — say more than that, aside from the warning that you should only see this if you have a high tolerance for body horror.
"No Other Land" from Rachel Szor, Hamdan Ballal, Yuval Abraham, Basel Adra is probably the most-powerful piece of cinema I've encountered in the entire year.
Bong Joon Ho's "Mickey 17," which is great for two pieces, starting with Robert Pattinson playing pathetic perfectly in the form of Mickey Barnes, a completely expendable dude. He feels like a distant cousin of Hank and Dean Venture from Doc Hammer and Jackson Publick's "The Venture Bros.," ... practically their live-action counterpart.
Greg Kwedar's "Sing Sing" feels completely singular.
Todd Solondz’s “Happiness” is a major WTF moment that shared something with Neon Genesis Evangelion (Shinji and Billy are the worst).
Jeremy Workman's "Secret Mall Apartment" is a wonderfully peculiar documentary that had me practically shouting at the screen like I was watching a horror movie.
Ryan Coogler's "Sinners" is excellent. A really fun sizzling action drama that reminds us that Riverdance is the root of all evil. The public's complete frothing adoration of "Sinners," though, speaks to more than just this film's quality, but the problems that great auteur directors face around the world. More movies deserve this kind of raucous reception and wide release.
Robert Zemeckis' "Death Becomes Her" (1992), a hilarious bit of body horror comedy. Stars Goldie Hawn, Meryl Streep, Bruce Willis, and Isabella Rossellini push it to phenomenal levels, and this should have been a bigger part of the conversation. Came to me because of my fandom of "The Substance," and it's a fitting film to watch if you loved the Moore/Qualley romp.
Akira Kurosawa's "Ran" is Succession with bloody swords. Amazing stuff.
James Wong's "Final Destination" will make kids of a certain era (who somehow missed this the first time) think "wow they got all of these actors in the same thing at the same time." Perfect little thriller.
Gus Van Sant's "To Die For" is a perfect piece of camp where Nicole Kidman showed off her skills at portraying a manipulator, though Joaquin Phoenix and (barf) Casey Affleck threaten to steal the movie as a hornier and stupider version of Beavis and Butt-Head*. Amazing cast, and if you see it after a drink or something else in you, you can try and trick yourself into thinking that instead of Casey Affleck it's Timothée Chalamet. The resemblance is uncanny.
*I never remember that it's "Butt-Head," I always think it's "Butt-head." No, he's Texas' Spider-Man.
Rewatch club
David Cronenberg's "eXistenZ" is a personal favorite that continues to impress, and I love what Vinegar Syndrome did with this restoration.
The Second Sight release of David Cronenberg's "Crimes of The Future" (2022) didn't quite do a whole lot for me this time. I think this one really benefits from the captive theatrical audience.
David Lynch's "Eraserhead," a jarring classic, practically requires the second viewing.
I am going to rewatch the heck out of Hayao Miyazaki's "The Boy and the Heron," partially because I just feel the need to prod at its ideas.
"Mission: Impossible -- Ghost Protocol," "Mission: Impossible," "Mission: Impossible III," and "Mission: Impossible II" is probably how I'd rank (best to worst) the M:I films I saw while getting ready for "Final Reckoning."
John Landis’ “Coming to America” is still a fun time, a good backyard projector movie.
Thank you for reading this far.
Next time, which will be soon, I’m going deep on Mexico City.