Hello from upstate New York, where I’m visiting my parents. This was meant to be my monthly movie diary of sorts, but one movie took over my brain.

Is there a phrase for when you absolutely love something but find it tough to talk about? This is what I have right now with Canadian director and writer Sophy Romvari's "Blue Heron," her first feature-length film, which is a film I am going to do my best to avoid spoiling. Unlike a lot of independent films, "Blue Heron" is fortunately getting a wider release that will give many more folks the opportunity to see it. Not only has it expanded beyond its initial New York City rollout, but it's already hit the other two major movie theater cities: LA and Chicago, as well as Romvari's own Canada. 

It isn't going to be stuck in the traditional limited release cities, either, as "Blue Heron" is headed to Westminster, CO, to Plainville, CT, to Tampa, FL, to Louisville, KY, to Eden Prairie, MN, and beyond. Oklahoma, Texas, North Carolina, Vermont, Arizona, and Louisiana will also be getting to taste what I've greedily devoured. 

This is a huge deal, because lately independent movies don't go beyond the big three of New York, Chicago and LA. Romvari herself has doubted herself, telling Sean Fennessey on The Big Picture that "I'm on record, I believe, at Locarno¹ as saying "there's no way this film will get distribution ... I fully was like 'this will maybe stream,' the industry tells you 'there's no way, the theaters are dead, it's over.' I'm still in the process of believing what's happening with this film. But word of mouth and a patience from the people behind the film are giving you a chance to see my favorite movie of the first four months of the year.

"Blue Heron" is also, as I've stated, a movie I dare not say too much about. So, I'm going to break this down into two sections. What you need to hear before seeing the film, and what I want to talk about after you've seen it. Please, don't skip to the latter part if you haven't seen it. Use that time to ask your local movie theater to program "Blue Heron" if they're not in the list of theaters planning to show it.

To try and say the least I can, "Blue Heron" is a family drama that takes place in Canada's Vancouver Island during the part of the 1990s where the first Windows desktop computers and home camcorders were abundant. Its shots are artistic enough to be in a professional film, but not overly-glossy to the point where it feels unnatural. The film uses this style to tell a story of strife that isn't always obvious, which might remind you of a life you’ve lived or when you’ve seen families struggling to keep a secret. Whether you have been in a similar family or remember seeing children who were a bit difficult, there's a strong chance that "Blue Heron" will resurface long-forgotten memories. Yes, this is my version of a content warning. Take heed if your scars are fresh. I think the trailer gives too much away, but it might help folks know if this is right or wrong for them:

I'm trying to avoid saying "Blue Heron" is a "slow-burn," but that's the phrase that kept coming up after I saw it, so I guess it might be helpful to know that "Blue Heron" doesn't feed you every detail. This is part of why I urge you to see it in theaters. It's not just that the film isn't on digital rental or streaming yet, but an at-home watch will probably lead you to miss some of the little details that a theatrical viewing helps you notice. We first see this world through the eyes of their youngest child Sasha (Eylul Guven), before glimpses of her parents' frustrations emerge as well. 

These are frustrations about language barriers, confusing adolescent behavior, and the good-cop, bad-cop dichotomy that can emerge when parenting. Everyone feels relatable and nuanced, and I swear that you'll go from frustration to care in mere moments, as "Blue Heron" swings in life-like speed.

I could say more, but that's what the next section is for. And yes if you haven’t seen the film yet, skip to the ending where I go over other movies.

What a goddamn movie, right? Can you see why I'm afraid of over-explaining or over-hyping? 

Few characters have caused so much by doing so little as Edik Beddoes' Jeremy, who almost meanders in and out of the movie, disrupting things for attention or getting shamed for his mistakes. Romvari is so selective with his actions, especially at first, that he retains some mystery and doesn't seem to be a threat to his family's peace. That early scene where Jeremy's lazing casually on the front steps of the family's home, and winds up attracting the concern of the neighbors is a sly move on Romvari's part. While I reacted in the moment as thinking "he's being a kid, what the hell is anyone saying anything for?" it's later viewed as the first of many "what is Jeremy thinking?" moments. Even at this point, though, there's no way I saw what was coming. When recommending "Blue Heron" I go out of my way to try to avoid saying anything about Jeremy, because the questions about him should only truly start to harden when he's relentless with that ball or walking on the rooftop.

Then, there's the actual "Blue Heron" scene, where Jeremy, Sasha, their mother (Iringó Réti) and their brothers Henry (Liam Serg) and Felix (Preston Drabble) are at the museum exhibition. One of the younger boys are touching the exhibit, which they shouldn't do, while Jeremy is playing with merch, balancing an eagle on his finger and kinda spaced-out. Then, he idly shoplifts a small blue heron keychain, which Sasha notices and ignores. Jeremy later, silently, puts that trinket on top of the mountain of stuff that Sasha's accrued at the beach. This did a lot for me in humanizing his misbehavior, but it became so much more powerful later on when we see the heron keychain is a part of adult Sasha's (Amy Zimmer) car keys. She's held onto him, and how couldn't she?

And, so, yes let's talk about Blue Heron's big gambit. Silently, we jump into the future, which is indicated by a smartphone that clearly doesn’t fit to the MS Paint era the Romvari rooted us in earlier. Here, a woman we’ll later learn is adult Sasha (whom I keep calling Sophy, because this movie is rooted in the director’s own life) interacts with that family’s past through recordings, and the film does little to indicate how its odder moments happen, and we're left to parse what we see. We watch Sasha in the middle of some stew of acceptance, forgiveness and love for the people no longer a part of her life. If I had to guess, I think Sasha's working with phone call recordings of her mother, and visiting her childhood house and finally processing the social services conversation she only overheard as a child. In that house, Sasha is doing her best to stay composed while a prismatic effect fracturing the moment makes you start to think about how memories are not perfect.

Only now can she truly understand the difficult choice her parents were faced with, and hear how her mother struggled with the suggestion to give Jeremy up for to a foster home. Jeremy always sticks out of his family because his blonde hair and pale skin just don’t match the rest of this household of Canadian-Hungarian immigrants who just moved into town, but that topic goes unspoken. Instead, we get heartbreaking moments such as when the mother's language barrier and familial pride stand in the way of understanding that this isn't a judgement of her parenting. As much as her father (Ádám Tompa) is right in that moment, dear old dad had the luxury of being the good cop during photography night. Neither parent did anything wrong, they're both trying. This is a crucial part of the film's lack of judgement that makes the letter Sasha reads to them all the more powerful. Zimmer's line readings here, as she fills in the story of trial and error of Jeremy's departure that we’ll never see (because young Sasha didn’t) are one of the biggest moments for Romvari as a director, because this feels powerful and not expository. 

And, speaking of letters, I have to look at Sasha's words for Jeremy. This is the scene that broke the dams for me and had me ugly crying next to my pal Claudia when I saw the film with the Cinema Rodrigo crowd at BAM in Brooklyn. While Zimmer's strong throughout the earlier scenes, it's these words that truly make it all sink in, and she delivers them with an unease and lack of certainty that line up with how Sasha is walking around still looking for answers, and how she's been building up to this moment whether she knew it or not. All Sasha can do now is try and come to peace with the lack of resolution, to tell Jeremy that people saw him as more than his struggle, and that at least one felt bad for the kid taking blame he shouldn't have. Much as Sasha combs over his past for answers, she gets no ultimate truth, because there was none. Everyone did their best, and their best wasn't enough. Society wasn't ready for kids like Jeremy then, and it probably isn't now.

Why was this movie so effective on me? This world and this family are built so well that you really take them at face value as much as you could, and part of that is due to the wonderfully natural performances of the child actors, and Bankovic's use of long-distance zooms (as credited by Romvari during her aforementioned interview with The Big Picture) may have enabled that. But I think this final speech is so universal, because it reminded me of the Jeremys I knew in my life, from grade school classmates to my parents' friends' children. The older I get, the more I accept (however recently, or slowly) that sometimes there are no answers to the questions that we ask the hardest. Romvari resists a world where there was something that could have been done, where someone did something that broke Jeremy forever, or where Jeremy is a villain.² Even when time passes and fails to heal our wounds. Forgiveness may be the only real option, and hopefully it is enough.

All of this makes "Blue Heron" one of the most powerful and impactful movies I've seen in years, and definitely my favorite film of 2026 so far. It makes me think about how tough it is to be a parent, how fortunate I am to have not been a Jeremy, and to think about the Jeremys I’ve known in my 41+ years of life.

You might remember that I had intended for the first (or last?) missives of the month to be a sort of roundup of the best things I’d seen. That changed the more “Blue Heron” affected me, but I still have some notes on what I enjoyed.

Thank you for reading this far.

Next time, I think I’m talking Letterboxd.